My life up to now. Part 13: A cutscene out of the TV show "Scrubs"

I am a pretty big fan of Nathan Fillion. Robin and I loved Firefly. Loved Serenity. Big fan of Capt. Mal. I never really got into Castle though, not sure why. I think I probably need to give it another try. I saw Nathan Fillion round the corner and walk into the small outdoor cafe at Raleigh Studios Hollywood, the back part behind the sound stages. He and the crew of Castle stepped in for a lunch break and Nathan sat 4 feet away from me as Robin and I nibbled at a meager appetizer waiting on our first Cooper distributor meeting. Apparently, they shoot the show there, Castle. What amazed me was that Mr. Fillion sat with the crew. The camera crew, grips, the production assistants. That's different, I thought. He went on talking with them like he was part of the crew, getting to know them personally, talking about cats and flip flops… you know, the ushe.

Our first appointment shows up. I won't disclose the distribution company in this blog to protect the guilty but what I will do is go ahead and blow your mind right now and let you know that it's the exact same guy that crushed our spirit years ago with the freight train of Truth and Exactitude. I swear, the moment he sat down and started talking my life switched to a cutscene out of the TV show "Scrubs".

Scrubs cut scene -----
12 INT. Distribution Office - DAY

A man in his late 30's, dark sandy hair, cheap suit and a slight gut sits at cherry wood desk. His desk is littered with stacks and stacks of DVD screeners and his trashcan has twice that amount inside. ECU on phone to mouth as he spatters out words and spit equally.
DISTRIBUTOR No one wants to watch a bunch of women sit around and talk about their feelings.

End Scrubs cut scene -----

Yeah, I am not kidding. We met his lovely assistant the night before, at the screening and never put it together. Luckily for us, the guy had no idea who we were and that we had spoke those years ago because I am sure we were just a number to him. He seemed head-over-heels interested in our movie this time though and wanted to close a deal right then and there. We told him we do have a few more meetings and that we would be giving him a call.

Our next meeting was really great. A lovely girl who really had it together. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Where did you have your pitch packages made?". She told us straight up that the reason she is talking to us now is because of that pitch package… that her company had already made the decision to speak to us before our film ever screened. She spoke frankly with us, "Filmmaking is one of the only businesses I know where there is a lot of people making their product before they know how they will sell their product. It looks like you guys made a product directly for the market. Good for you. If you're not going to have a named actor in the cast, an equally essential thing is to have a cute dog on the cover. Look at this", she holds up our fly card artwork. "We can definitely work with this", she said. We told her that we would be in touch sometime next week.

And our next meeting. Man, this guy was really interesting too. He was a straight-shooter, a no BS kind of guy and told it how it is. "First of all, great pitch package. Best I've ever seen. Most people send us screeners, burned DVD, title scribbled on them…-- kerplink#@# -- straight in the trash. Who do these people think they are? They spend all this time and energy on their film and erase it with a cheap DVD and Sharpie. It's like they are using the shotgun approach and just firing spindles of crappy plastic out the post, I don't want to watch that crap. I got your box, yeah.. that box. Opened it up, had a cute little doggie tag keychain I gave to my daughter. Yeah, I remembered that one", he said. This dude was a fast talking New Yorker, a real Jonah Jameson kind of guy (J.K. Simmons version from original Spider-Man movie). I swear, the guy was not privy to small talk and really just got down to brass tacks. "I tell ya, Here is what I can do for you. I can do X, Y and Z. I cannot do D, E, F. Your film will make between 145-150k domestically and I do not handle foreign territories so you'll need to sign some someone else for that. DVD is dead and you won't likely make much money there. We can make money through VOD and some television deals. Your movie is great but it's got one fatal flaw… the same flaw that Hitchcock made in the worst Hitchcock movie that nobody has ever seen… you killed a kid. Yeah, make another dog movie but this time don't kill a kid and you'll make twice as much money. Also, if you can add in a scene where the guy holds up a Bible or says a prayer, that'll get you a few extra bucks right there." All we could do is listen, the guy was a machine. Robin grabbed my knee under the table and gave it a squeeze. When he was finished, he flicked us his card and told us to call him Monday morning and we would go over all the deal paperwork. He was closing the deal before we were ready to close the deal!

We left California with a lot of options!